19. The Lover Employee Transfer 07. Traveling Salesmen 03. 25 Funniest The Office Quotes to Live Your Life By Compiled by Nuha Khan, readersdigest.ca Updated: Feb. 26, 2021 To say The Office is binge-worthy is an understatement—the classic sitcom gets funnier and funnier with repeat viewings. The Alliance Promos The Chump 17. The Secret Packer and I once spent the whole day with our pants off, and when people noticed, we convinced them that they were crazy. They match the carpet. 19. 04. Costume Contest 11. 12. Jim: What is that? 06. 08. Hot Girl, 01. 06. 09. Michael Scott Inspirational Quotes 9. ... — The Office Quotes (@Scranton_Quotes) October 13, 2016. Whether you’re enjoying the series for the first time or binge-watching your favorite episodes again, these lines are guaranteed to make you laugh. 09. Links, 01. Shareholder Meeting See … 18. 15. Murder The Carpet Performance Review Work Bus Chair Model Customer Survey 13. 19. Michael, you should have much bigger fears than that. I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. 18. 15. It includes the best quotes from The Office, voted on by fans. 03. New Boss 19. Special Project The Seminar 03. Pam’s Replacement Andy’s Ancestry Creed Bratton's hilarious and out there quotes prove that he's the office's resident oddball old guy and his quotes deserve the laughs. Mrs. California I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. Gossip 10. Pool Party Branch Wars 21. 02. Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell. Lotto Kevin tragically spills chili. Pam: Roy and I just got back from the Poconos. 23. Company Picnic, 01. 23. The Target Michael: Who is this? 2. 07. Did I Stutter? Secretary’s Day 05. The Dundies Safety Training Lice 03. 24. I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me. Webisodes – The 3rd floor 22. Spooked The Search 09. The Job, 01. 02. 15. Jim: Not even an exclamation point? Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. 08. E-mail Surveillance 06. Pilot Branch Closing China 11. 12. Boys and Girls 10. He’s thrown a kettle over a pub, what have you done? … The Office Quotes About Love That'll Make Any Cynic Believe It's Real. 21. The hit TV show The Office is a fan favorite known for its memorable characters, wild antics, and hilarious quotes. 21. The Office (2005) - S02E14 The Carpet clip with quote No! Most of the quotes you hear throughout your work day come from none other than the popular sitcom, The Office. 41. The Promotion Ryan: Jim’s been looking at me, kind of a lot, all week, I would be creeped out by it, but, it’s nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me. 23. Customer Loyalty 2. Because Toby used to sit there but then he had to move over there because of an allergy. 02. And I got your number from the corporate directory and, well I was assuming you probably gave it to them because you wanted me to ask you out, right? Halloween I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, 'Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. 17. 06. 14. Michael’s Last Dundies But now, no. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, 'Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Registered users can share favorite quotes and more through their own fan profile. 11. The Duel KELLY KAPOOR. Beets. Why am I talking to you? Home Dwight: It's a statement of fact. Livin’ The Dream You know, it would probably be best if the person responsible would just come forward and accept their punishment. Casual Friday Hey Jim, I thought that we would be desk buddies while they changed my carpet. The Boat New Leads 03. I'm a big fan of anything Joe Rogan does, actually. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. 07. Junior Salesman Couples Discount Um, so give me a call back. "Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. 22. The Office is one of the most beloved shows of all time.. I'll talk to you later, bye. 04. 05. 11. 14. Test the Store 02. Jury Duty Moving On 14. 17. 20. Beach Games New Guys “‘You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.’” – Wayne Gretsky’ – Michael Scott. Throughout its 9 season run, 'The Office' had countless memorable and funny quotes. “And I knew exactly what to do. Hey, what's that word we made up when you have a thing stuck in your shoe? WUPHF.com When the office thinks Michael’s gone too far, they brainstorm how it would be possible to kill all three. Broke Battlestar Galactica." 13. 23. I am a big Fear Factor fan. There are things that I'll never laugh at. Free Family Portrait Studio, 01. Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager It's the only thing that makes any sense. Here are 75 The Office quotes to pick you up from a bad day: I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake. Go get yourself a monkey kidney.'. 21. Get The Girl Sex Ed 13. Contact Me Uh, give me a call back. The Office Season 2 Episode 14: "The Carpet" Quotes. 18. 14. Koi Pond 14. The Cover-Up Andy’s Play The handicapped. St. Patrick’s Day Garden Party Drug Testing 10. For my new year’s resolution, I gave up drinking… during the week. Fundraiser Ultimatum Tagged: Justin Bieber, Fighting Crime. 09. Initiation Welcome Party The Negotiation 10. Golden Ticket I wasn't talking literally, Creed. Ben Franklin 10. Basketball 09. That might be a little difficult with the one computer. Health Care 15. You're going to throw my things on the ground? Christmas Wishes I just hope I find it along the way.”. Finale, Webisodes – The Accountants 06. Hey let me ask you a question, it's actually a little awkward. Please link back to TheOfficeQuotes.com when using content from this site! Moroccan Christmas Dwight Christmas See for yourself by reading 15 of the best according to Paste Magazine. Quotes Michael Scott : I swore to myself that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh when they saw me coming, and would applaud as I walked away. Vandalism Jim's been looking at me kind of a lot this week. Heavy Competition Sexual Harassment I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. Niagara Secret Santa 12. 05. Christmas Party Michael: Hello? Anyway, I have a thing stuck in my shoe. Michael: Is it a bird? [points to sign] "It is your birthday, period." A.A.R.M Just sit there quietly. Survivor Man A Benihana Christmas Goodbye Michael Depends on if you like a little junk in th--. I would gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today. Yikes. Classy Christmas But you make more money as a leader. The Coup Subscribe to "The Office Quotes in Your Inbox". 22. I hate her. Could be done out of hate, could be done out of love. “An office is for not dying. But probably all you have in common is the fact that you walk around on the same bit of carpet … 18. Local Ad 11. 19. 20. Please link back to TheOfficeQuotes.com when using content from this site! A mockumentary on a group of typical office workers, where the workday consists of ego clashes, inappropriate behavior, and tedium. The Office Quotes is a fan site dedicated to NBC's The Office. Michael finds a way in one of his most memorable anti-Toby quotes. The Office is still one of the most talked-about and quoted comedy television shows from the past couple decades even though it’s been off the air for over five years. Cafe Disco Webisodes – Kevin’s Loan Turf War The Office Quotes is a fan site dedicated to NBC's The Office. Schrute Space. Nope. Trainin Day The Return … 14. Paper Airplane 14. I think Stanley knows what I''m talking about. 17. 20. And yet you spend more time with them than you do your friends or your family. The Convict Doomsday Whistleblower, 01. Beyonce; pink, the color; Pink, the person; hot dogs... basically, anything that is awesome. PDA Back From Vacation I am a victim of a hate crime. I just hope I find it along the way." Alright, you''re all going to be punished. 02. These The Office quotes will double as perfect captions for you and your work crew's most memorable moments. Even Fans Who Have Rewatched "The Office" Several Times Will Struggle To Pass This Obscure Quote Quiz. 22. 09. 04. 03. Manager and Salesman Hey Jim, Michael wanted me to ask you how to raise your desk chair. — Jim Halpert , The Office , Season 4 : Job Fair. 07. 15. The Convention I mean, you don't know them, it wasn't your choice. Ricky: You really are a couple of sad little men, aren't you? — Jim Halpert , The Office , Season 7 : Todd Packer. Todd Packer Women’s Appreciation You know, I'm starting to think that what happened in my office was an act of terrorism. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. “I am about to do something very bold in this job that I've never done before... try.”. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.”- Michael Scott. 02. The Office actor and executive producer Paul Lieberstein wrote "The Carpet". Diversity Day 16. Phyllis’ Wedding Angry Andy 04. Dinner Party 22. 03. Last Day In Florida 05. Rewind the clock and enjoy 21 of David Brent’s best quotes from The Office … 1 “When people say to me: would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss? Quotes tagged as "carpet" Showing 1-9 of 9 “Just as when we step into a mosque and its high open dome leads our minds up, up, to greater things, so a great carpet seeks to do the same under the feet. 05. In 2006, I searched for a funny line from an unknown episode and was dismayed when my search came up empty. Fan Love Michael Scott Paper Company 09. 05. After Hours Job Fair Office Olympics Casino Night, 01. Please read my disclaimer for legal and copyright information. I'm working for the week. Viewing Party Pam: [looking at pile on Michel’s carpet] Oh… I don’t know. 03. Trivia 13. 04. Christening Kevin: What’s goin’ on? I get ten vacation days a year, and I try to hold off taking them for as long as possible. 21. 07. — Michael Scott If you guys were on their crew, you would be fired like that! There's definitely a desk open in the back. 13. The people you work with are people you were just thrown together with. Lecture Circuit 2 17. Michael: Oh, God! An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… an office is a place where dreams come true.” — Michael Scott “I run a small fake ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the Sheriff’s station.” — Creed Bratton “I got six numbers. 30 Best Quotes From "The Office" Of All Time 1. The Delivery 1. Michael Scott: Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote. Written by Paul Lieberstein Directed by Victor Nelli, Jr. @officequotesnet The Merger 18. Sure, Dwight can get to be a little much with his fire drills, farm, and all. 20. Okay, sorry Michael just walked by. Michael: When I was in training, many years ago—not so long ago—I worked side by side with a fellow named Todd Packer, and together we rocked the office. 08. Prince Family Paper Created by Greg Daniels, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant. I swore to myself if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh as they saw me coming, and they'd applaud as I walked away. Suduko: level moderate, 18 minutes. 20. 12. 07. Goodbye Toby, 01. How could that happen? Also see my Special Thanks page. 06. Gay Witch Hunt 17. The Office The Carpet quotes. 08. Grief Counseling 12. The Fight Blood Drive 20. Counseling Dwight’s Speech Is this your office? 'http':'https';if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src=p+"://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); © 2017 OfficeQuotes.net It includes the best quotes from The Office, voted on by fans. If you are employed in an office environment, you’re probably all-too-familiar with all of the quotes your coworkers sling around as if they were normal conversational pieces of some original thought process. 10. Night Out Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip. 24. 25. Packer: Hello, I'm looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott. 26. 16. The Surplus Creed Thoughts MEREDITH PALMER. Special Thanks 04. 1. Launch Party 15 I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. But don't tell him that, okay? That guy, Miles, who quit to form his own company. Dwight: This is more professional! 05. Mafia One of the reasons that so many people still love the show is that it’s full of hilarious one-liners that are easy to quote, many of which are applicable to daily life and are funny because of how relatable they are. Maybe somebody hates the cleaning lady. Product Recall 20. Pam: No, I don’t think it’s a bird. 16. 02. There are five quotes on the rug, as follows: “Government of the people, by the people, for the people.” - Abraham Lincoln “The welfare of each of us fundamentally depends upon the welfare of all of us.” Michael: Um, somebody vomited right in the middle of … 21. Do you know if shes looking for something long-term or if she'd be cool just hangin' out? David: There are limits to my comedy. Just tell him I'm like up for anything, I mean I'm not a slut, but who knows? Search Committee, 01. Comprehensive source for every line ever said on NBC ’ s, Dwight they! Find it along the way. ” gladly pay you Tuesday, for a funny from! 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