Of course, I have thousands and thousands of amazingly supportive customers on practically ever continent, but the negative mean vicious people who have dedicated themselves to ripping my success apart (and some who have even dedicated blogs to being horridly rude about it) have shut me in a dark cold place. Great things about snow days. As you said, I now have a different, and better, and very welcome sense of the person behind the “perfect” blog, and I’m quite grateful. My new endeavor has been spurred from me getting sick [really sick] and several doctors, an endoscopy (!) What silly, miserable people, and what awful lives they must have. I write to you also to tell you that I have always worked as a clinical social worker. Perhaps if you view these commentators as scared little children, you will find less merit and hurt in their words. It means a lot to hear your thoughts on that change in yourself… in fact I’m almost brought to tears by the thought that someone who I admire and respect as much as you can have any doubts about herself in the world. Somehow, decades have crept by me and I’m not anywhere where I thought I’d be in several aspects of my life and I’m trying to come to a place of acceptance with it.
All the very best. xx. I can only imagine the pressure you have felt to be the “cool one”.
Its hard to know how much to put out there online and I think you are really brave for being so open. So today I wanted to join in this discussion, albeit three years late to the party. I can relate to all of your fears so well!!! Grace Bonney feels this way too! Thanks for the great post. I’m in my late 20s and started reading DS right out of college, when I first realized I wanted to intentionally craft the space I lived in.
I have enjoyed following what you’ve shared about your life, design etc (across 3 continents!)
But what about those things that truly terrify us, those situations that may not even ever happen? Wow, Grace. And if you post, please respond to some of the other comments too. Yours is the first one I check every day—both for the gorgeous, unusual design features and for the thoughtful and honest essays. No one can please everyone all the time. Sometimes they are right (about me, anyway), often wrong, but always stressful and hurtful. I was JUST thinking yesterday about vulnerability/sharing/relating and how powerful the act of connecting with others can be and the difference it can make in the way you feel about those deep dark things.
But I still sometimes fear what others might think of me for it. Take a lot of time to open up. I know how you feel and that time in my life was excruciatingly painful and difficult. Of course, the internet is full of people who aren’t familiar with the concept of kindness (or “If you don’t have anything nice to say…”). This past year has been the worst for me as I’ve gone to the doctor for every single “symptom” that I found…which lead to unnecessary tests and stronger fears. What wonderfully transparent revelations. I want to give you a GIANT HUG right now. It could be as simple as sending one person, one message that can dramatically alter the course of their life. the things that she was afraid to tell her readers, http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2013-06-our-society-urges-girls-to-take-up-less-space-and-bo, http://wairimumurigi.blogspot.com/2014/10/too-personal-and-awkward.html. Grace, occasional dropper-inner here, so I missed your coming out, but mazel tov to you and your sweetie. anyway, turned out to be nothing. I’d never been to your site before until u posted Natalie’s loft. Rollercoasters and anything that tips you upside down…this is a real and actual physical anxiety and no amount of coercing by the 12 y o is going to change that. Grace!
I was too worried that some kind of illness was lurking around and would take everything I cherished away and maybe even our chance to start a family. On a personal note, I worry with the hypochondria thing too. Thank you for sharing! Here’s to bravery and supporting one another, not putting each other down! I can’t stop thinking about it…. He was unfamiliar with this condition as it seems to be a particular dis-ease experienced by affluent countries & people. i told my stomach to shut up.
Stop going on WebMD. Couldn’t have said it better than Alissa did.
How does the story of your fear end? I rarely read a post so authentic, so touching… I’m not alone. I’ll get there, and when I do, I’ll remember how this blog post is what helped to launch me to a new passion and journey. You are not alone with these anxieties! You expressed so many fears I have. #1 I love Holy Basil tea or tincture in water; it does wonders for anxiety and stress. Please remember that anyone’s opinions are only reflections of themselves. Your career is important to you and cool and does not mean that asked for disrespect. You are real! Sharing my deepest thoughts like that really helped me to overcome a lot of the guilt I was feeling because of them. The best parts of a parade. And remember “haters gon’ hate”. And none of my respect for you is based on some assumption that you’re ONLY living a pinterest-perfect existence. I realize this fear is very small in relation to the very real survival needs of others, but it’s one that I really struggle with and hope I can learn to move on from in the future. I really, really, really love the direction you’re taking Design*Sponge. I’m not naive enough to think that being relatively pulled-together and cleaned up isn’t helpful for photo shoots, etc., but after a rough few years between 2011-2013, I finally realized that respect and success have more to do with the things on the inside than the outside. I think that everyone has deeply set fears that are hard to verbalize, let alone blog about in a very public setting, so kudos for you. I am scared of flying. Interesting things you see in the sky. So while you might not have helped me face to face you totally did virtually and please don’t forget it. It is filled with obstacles at every turn – and sometimes that is rewarding and sometimes it makes you want to scream.
Thank you for your elegant vulnerability. ….Forgot to mention in my previous comment that I very much understand about your #2 fear — we’ve had a couple very scary life or death moments in our marriage. There are fears I didn’t even know I had the inner fuel for but shit they’re burning into my psyche like a fucking furnace.
but I couldn’t resist today. I’m struggling to grow my business, and I feel like I’m losing my passion. My struggle aside, it does make me SO appreciate those that have taken the leap – you exemplify that, your wife exemplifies that and each post on Design*Sponge highlights that in some way. It’s so strange, because when the dr. tells me that it’s most likely nothing, it’s like that’s not good enough…there must be an answer, something wrong with me! We’ve had so much happen in addition to that as well that I’m constantly just expecting more bad news to be around the corner so I worry about every bump, pain, or anything that remotely seems strange medically.
Also, it is strange how angry and defensive I feel right now about some GOMI asshat taking a shot at you or your site. Anyway… thank you for being you. I'm blogging about what happens as it happens, as a kind of therapy for me and as an awareness raising exercise of what IVF is all about.
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